tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61213450906214690592024-02-19T06:44:29.857-08:00Runic RigelSurvival + CultureRunic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-87117429344944175402017-05-21T17:37:00.004-07:002017-05-21T17:40:15.462-07:00An Humble Response to Frankie Gaffney's Identity Politics Article About Straight White Males<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Earlier this month Frankie Gaffney wrote an article about the harrowing difficulties of being a straight, white male. Granted, he doesn't live in America where we're still dealing with the repercussions of being a society founded on the backs of slavery and racism. Nor is he a gay man in Chechnya. Nor is a woman in the Middle East. However, he still felt compelled to write on the social injustice he faces as a cis-gendered white male. The original article is here:</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.irishtimes.com/opinion/identity-politics-is-utterly-ineffective-at-anything-other-than-dividing-people-1.3087639"><span style="font-size: large;">http://www.irishtimes.com/opinion/identity-politics-is-utterly-ineffective-at-anything-other-than-dividing-people-1.3087639</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">He originally titled the article "Equating Straight White Men with Privilege is Idiocy."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It looks like he has since changed his prickish title to a milder, longer -</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Identity Politics is Utterly Ineffective at Anything Other Than Dividing People."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and here's my response.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay, I finally have time to re-read and compose a semi-articulate response to this article.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">First of all let me qualify myself here by saying I am a queer, white girl that grew up in a trailer park on food stamps after being removed from my zealous Southern Baptist abusive parents. However, I can still recognize I’m privileged.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Saying your experience as a white person, straight person, male or a combination of all three isn’t saying you’re automatically a 1% living a life of wealth and happiness. It’s saying that if you have one of these traits and especially a combination of the three you’re not going to face in general the social prejudice and snares that a person that is not straight, white, male or a combination (lawd) of all three.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am queer. I am white. But I can acknowledge that I have privilege as a white person and a straight passing person. Surely, you know that people who are not white, not straight and not male face prejudice and harassment all of their lives. Surely you can acknowledge that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I take issue with the article right away and I’ll start with the title.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">“Equating straight white men with privilege is idiocy.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Oh, idiocy is it? Only a person of privilege so convinced in the superiority of their opinion would instantly call anyone who takes issue with his feeble opinion “an idiot.” Which the author does straight out the gate so pardon me but --- fuck him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then we’re instantly hit with this garbage -</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">“But people who talk a lot about “choice” and “freedom” chose for me, and decided that’s what my identity should be reduced to.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I’m sorry. Mother fucker you did not. Choice? No. Look at the work LGBTQ activist are doing within their community. Look at what gay men are dying for in Chechnya. This asshole clearly hasn’t been paying attention. We’ve been advocating that being LGBTQ isn’t a choice. It’s something you’re born with and therefore you shouldn’t be penalized within society. But up to a few years ago LGBTQ couldn’t even marry members of the same sex and it’s still legally acceptable in many cases in America to discriminate against them and not hire them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Was redlining not a thing? Is gentrification not a thing? Are there laws allowing people to not hire people if they’re not straight? Last I checked that wasn’t a thing. Gay people are dying all over the world but let’s carry on with this dude’s hurt feeling acting like he’s been victimized by actual oppressed peoples of the world that are --- did I mention --- dying.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The author claims -</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">“The further irony is the most patronising people I’ve ever encountered are the people who explain to me why it’s fine to use words and phrases such as “mansplain….”</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay? This isn’t fact. This is a blatantly bias experience. Further undermined when he says -</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">“If the CIA or MI5 wanted to encourage a style of “activism” that could consume an infinite amount of energy, yet was utterly ineffective at anything other than dividing people, it would be the prominence of this very type of politics.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">On what planet is that not self-superior and and patronizing as fuck? This guy is tone DEAF. Tone deaf I yell in a vain hope this dude will ever recognize his own blatant hypocrisy. He doesn’t want people to stop talking identity politics. This entire article is participating in the discourse. He just wants the discourse to happen on his terms. HMM - why oh why could it be that people have started to pinpoint cis-gendered white male fragility as we begin to pursue social justice for the minorities in our society? HMM. Ironic indeed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">“These people don’t want to separate church and state, they want to institute a new religion, just with themselves at the helm.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Oh the laughable fucking hypocrisy. Nope. that’s not what feminist or black people or gay people want. NOPE. They just want to not face discrimination and have equal opportunities in a world where the majority of leaders taking away our food, clean water, reproductive rights and creating privatised prisons are white males.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">“Later on that same day my mate Eric from Tallaght shared a video on Facebook of a woman assaulting a white fellow because he had dreadlocks. This woman has many defenders, who will explain at great length the evils of “cultural appropriation”. “F***in’ eejit” was Eric’s view of her, and I’m inclined to agree.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Dude has totally mistaken the discussion on cultural appropriation for whatever this bullshit point about cisgendered white males is. He’s so far off the mark. He finishes by wondering ---</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">“I wonder if the people who spend their “activism” on these issues ever went hungry, ever worried where they were going to live or had their electricity cut off.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The answer is yes. And you just solidified the problem with you and your ilk. You continue your superiority within society by acting victimized again and again and again and then conjecturing the idiocy and privilege of others you disagree with. THE VERY THING YOU'RE CLAIMING TO DESPISE. When people in Flint (whose population is mostly black) don’t have clean water. When gays in Chechnya are dying. When women in the Middle East are being stoned to death. This guy is grotesque. You wonder if people have had their electricity cut off? I wonder something. I wonder if the author is as fucking stupid, ignorant and self absorbed as he sounds.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As I said in the beginning. I’m smart enough to realize that having privilege as a white person doesn’t mean I’m licking from a silver spoon. If this guy wants to do good in a realm he claims irks him he needs to recognize his privilege triple times over and then grow a pair and get his hands dirty. As it stands this jerk is vile.</span>Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-6233693937306041122017-05-18T16:50:00.000-07:002017-05-18T18:59:03.655-07:00Accepting Love is Hard Sometimes<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj37JKqn-zXlGiYd2Jf2w2WvflNxI9AYiXRDPZo8VCJhWjOHIXOnwL_7pEkzw5_-IDI8tqCEwK1oz_cj2HylqA00F8wVbQpDPd1gHxpr889yIe1kylH9SivR52fX_v684xmg1jKPu208xUQ/s1600/Tommy+Lee+Jones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj37JKqn-zXlGiYd2Jf2w2WvflNxI9AYiXRDPZo8VCJhWjOHIXOnwL_7pEkzw5_-IDI8tqCEwK1oz_cj2HylqA00F8wVbQpDPd1gHxpr889yIe1kylH9SivR52fX_v684xmg1jKPu208xUQ/s400/Tommy+Lee+Jones.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Growing up we're all like - ohemgee being loved is the greatest! Especially little girls like me spoon-fed Disney Princess fairy tales in the 90's and 80's rom-coms and 60's Rodgers and Hammerstein's musicals. Being in love looked like it was the shit. It didn't help that in most of these fantasies being in love usually accompanied a swift marriage and an inherited fortune. Being in love was the bomb. It was like winning the life lottery, the emotions lottery AND the lottery lottery. Love was lit.<br />
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Now I'm turning thirty one in a week or two and I have some thoughts. Love is pretty cool but it can also be damaging as hell. Loving the wrong person at the wrong time can get you into some serious shit. Sometimes it can work out but it takes a lot of (well) work, introspection and time to untangle the knots of whatever it is that composes the wrongness of said relationship. Sometimes it takes just as much effort to realize that things aren't going to sort themselves out and it's time to move onto the next life lesson.<br />
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Then there are the people that come into your life and they break you. They take your very existence and snap it over their knee like a kindling twig. CRACK! And forever after that love is weirdly synonymous with Disney animal talking companions, heart-rending affection and massive, massive amounts of emotional pain. Your brain gets jumbled. The path to love has a big ole firewall on it and you can't remember the password to access what it feels like anymore. I mean what love really feels like --- that unabashed, vulnerable, fearless kind of affection you can only have before someone tosses your heart in the blender and turns that shit to eleven.<br />
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When this kind of thing happens (and it happens to almost all of us in some form or fashion) it becomes far easier to accept the fact that people will hurt, use and lie to us than to accept that they will love us in a healthy way. We start to doubt our own judgement and decision making abilities. Even when someone is affectionate (be it partner, auntie or bestie) we tentatively accept their gentleness with a tentative side-eye and a shaky, uncertain smile. What does this person want? What are they going to DO to us?<br />
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The most nefarious phase of the "accepting love degradation process" is when it effects are self-love, worth, confidence bits. I know in my own head the inner dialogue often goes something like --- <br />
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"Well, you dated that one guy for five years despite him being completely abusive so how do you really know if this person is safe for (friendship, romance, collaboration, etc)?"<br />
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"Look can you just trust me on this one? I've thought about this A LOT and I'm pretty sure..."<br />
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"Yeah, well you were pretty sure about abusive five year guy too weren'tcha?"<br />
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"Okay, Me. Well, when you put it that way ..."<br />
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The damage others do to us becomes truly nightmarish when they exit our lives and we pick up where they left off --- doing the damage they'd still be doing to us on their behalf. It becomes easier to accept varying executions of the same destructive behaviors from whoever we meet. We hurt ourselves, let others hurt us and then wonder in bafflement, "Why ME?" Unable to step outside the cycle and realize that we're the ones proliferating the harm by forgetting our worth or never rebuilding it. When we get rid of someone only to carry on their destructive habits in their stead it diminishes the impact getting rid of them has on our lives.<br />
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The product of love can be a beautiful boost in confidence, security, camaraderie and happiness but the product of love can also be a tumorous life lesson that can destroy us if not located and extracted. But we don't see that side of it in Disney films. The best our childhoods can do is imbue us with an wavering sense of self-worth and empathy to prepare us for these sorts of encounters before we're unleashed as adults unto the world.<br />
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I want you to take away a few things from this article and I'll tell you what they are. <br />
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--- We need to find a real world way to prepare children for the hazards of romance instead of depicting a one sided version of the pursuit of marriage<br />
--- Sometimes we have to take accountability for hurting ourselves because we haven't recovered from damage taken upon the battlefield of life<br />
--- It's okay to consciously, in the present, open your hands to accept love and sometimes as an adult that is very rare and difficult thing to do<br />
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Love is not always an instant, youthful, freeing experience that comes rushing through the flood gates and into the dawn of our adult lives, teeming into our souls to rid us of sadness FOREVER. Okay, I'm gonna be honest it's never that way. More often, it takes work to build those gates and cautiously open them and that's okay --- just don't let them stay closed for too long. Regardless, there will still be times you are less than happy. Love is not the antidote to melancholy and poverty as depicted in aforementioned fables. (But I'm guessing you already know that.)<br />
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Self love and care is not always easy to generate or access even though the media will depict it as bubble bath and shopping sessions. It's not always easy to craft love for yourself without packaging it in hesitant disdain or fear. Sometimes people have to deconstruct an entire scaffolding of uncertainty and stonewalls bricked in fear to access their own self-worth. That's okay.<br />
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Happiness is fickle and sadness is fleeting but love is sustainable. I hope that today and every day we can take down those barricades of fear block by block and use all of those materials that life has given us to build a place for love to incubate. I hope that for you and I hope that for me.<br />
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Now go kickass.<br />
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-RueRunic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-68876941738247041122017-04-02T15:12:00.000-07:002017-04-02T15:15:01.915-07:00Learn to Dismantle in a World of Production<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTUT0JrS4OA4022bXDhUjdrvPfkKQeUi50XLgR536l9KpfVRfKspYOc_9SFUaX7NspvYCUdWlg8CREXlyLDSU8Nb8BnoUCT2nRKe9HVc7KEKxyY17-jIxOsn-xHh8fETehsWZZvUmhKZd/s1600/nyan-the-earth_thumb-spraying-the-earth-with-radiation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTUT0JrS4OA4022bXDhUjdrvPfkKQeUi50XLgR536l9KpfVRfKspYOc_9SFUaX7NspvYCUdWlg8CREXlyLDSU8Nb8BnoUCT2nRKe9HVc7KEKxyY17-jIxOsn-xHh8fETehsWZZvUmhKZd/s400/nyan-the-earth_thumb-spraying-the-earth-with-radiation.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You’ve found out your coworker has been lying on their time card. Pretending to punch in and punch out while not really working the hours they have claim they’ve allotted. Meanwhile, you’ve been picking up the slack, always feeling something was off but never knowing what until now. You print out your evidence. You approach them in front of everyone, “You liar!” You denounce them in a fury but the outburst lands you in as much trouble as the person that has effectively been stealing from the company and causing you stress for weeks and months even as you carried your team forward.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Management isn’t happy with how you handled things. You’re in as much trouble as your dishonest co-worker? Why? Because we consider self-righteous outbursts entirely inappropriate in polite society. It’s for this reason that most people, having found proper evidence of compromising evidence, would turn it into the powers at be and pursue the appropriate avenues. Most of us would leave the decision to management or law enforcement. That’s how we’ve been taught to go about things. Many companies even provide flowcharts to their employees to inform them on exactly how to go about escalating an issue. Everyone must do their due diligence. Anything that usurps the queue is seen as vigilante justice that can land the whistleblower in as much hot water as the probate. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">More and more, I find myself wondering why this is. How is it that as a society can we be opposed to something inherently good like justice simply due to the way it’s pursued? Likewise, time and time again throughout history human beings as a community have been patsy to despicable acts of savagery and wrongdoing such as the Holocaust, the Trail of Tears or slavery simply because at that time and place in history and the world such terrible proceedings were considered “lawful.” What an absurd lot of creatures human beings truly are.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As a collective, human beings are able to accept wholly terrible concepts and actively employ them while shunning wholesome choices for two simple reasons - how the ideals matured within their communities and whether or not they find their peers to be accepting.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The now famous Milgram Experiment conducted by Yale University’s Stanley Milgram tested human subjects to see if they were more willing to harm another if they were ordered to do so by an authority figure. The subjects falsely believed they were turning a switch to electrocute a volunteer. Even upon causing the volunteer what appeared to be great pain the subjects continued when ordered to do so by a perceived authority figure like a doctor overseeing the study. The results of this experiment and many others like it have shown overwhelmingly that the answer is a startling yes, people are willing to harm others in a controlled environment when they are told to do so. The answer is affirmative even throughout different types of societies.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How feeble our identities and morals are when cast upon the rocks of society as an entity unto itself. In school we’re taught about the establishment of great nations from America, to Britain and Rome. However, increasingly, in modern, polite society factual history might as well be fantasy. The older you become the more you realize how quickly time moves and how truth, whatever that was, is diluted with each of the hundreds of children born each hour. A new generation swallows up the last. In a world of smartphones, video games, a shared global economy and lightning fast communication how relatable are stories of nations won over with guillotines, muskets and spears? At face value they aren’t and we live in a world built on short time spans, flash pan marketing and surface value rhetoric.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Just as the current life on this planet is many worlds removed from the history upon which the present is layer we are many worlds removed from actualization. Just as there is something nefarious about meeting whistle-blower and thief with the same level of admonishment there is something nefarious about a society that has begun to propagate its status quo instead of the well-being of those that comprise it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">First world countries, Western society, developed nations --- call them what you will --- are living in a global community but also a global dichotomy far removed from the violence exacted by their countries and the devastation felt by underdeveloped communities throughout the world. Americans are living in a nation that enslaved human beings and denied women rights for over a hundred of year while proclaiming philosophies of liberty and freedom. We now live in a country where despite slavery and the eventual trials of segregation being a fundamental part of our history there are Americans currently living who will claim that race relations are “worse than they’ve ever been” without the slightest smack of irony. How can this horrific reality be?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f3f3f3; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Society is comprised of us all but it takes on a life of it’s own. Society can be a monster that devours justice when left unchecked by the people and all of the components of a community that produce “us” instead of “I.” Ernest Hemingway famously said, “Never confuse movement for action.” We are living in a society unlike any other before it. We have instant access to information and misinformation that moves at the blink of an eye. There is a lot of movement. There is much sharing of this information and misinformation. But where lies the action? If we are not careful, the inaction of sharing information then doing absolutely nothing about it will be what represents the people as a whole. It’s what history will remember as our downfall.</span></div>
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Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-46152352103143751322017-01-04T19:08:00.003-08:002017-01-04T19:09:26.423-08:00One Year on YouTube<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In four days I’ll have officially been a YouTuber for one year. I’m really proud of myself for seeing this through. It’s amazing to look back and say that, barring a few exceptions, I’ve kept up with posting on a weekly and biweekly basis. It’s been a challenge like no other for this self-titled self-expression enthusiast.<br />
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Much of my adult life, made ends meet by doing something I wasn’t crazy about in places I often times despised because I needed money to survive. More than that, as someone with PTSD and a child abuse survivor I wanted to show I was capable of being a well-adjusted adult. I’ve only begun to realize I’ve spent far too much time with that chip on my shoulder. The way I tried to show everyone (most of all myself) that I was a salvageable human being was to pursue a desk job as soon as I could. My goal then, as it is now, was to be self-reliant.<br />
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However, this pursuit wasn’t so that I could buy the nicest things emblazoned with shiny hardware effectively showcasing en vogue brands on handbags or cars. For me it was about an attempt to experience freedom and liberty in it’s truest form. <br />
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For over fifteen years I lived in a situation where I was beaten, slept behind locked doors and when I wasn’t at school I was burdened with chores and babysitting from 5 a.m. until I was allowed to go to bed only after I had completed all of the household cleaning each day. I’ll tell more of that story one day soon.<br />
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My pursuits are alike but dissimilar all these years later. Now I’ve taken a step back, lucky enough to work with my significant other, and put my skills to use without feeling like I’m selling my soul or trying to keep it cobbled together as PTSD ravaged it. I took a year to go to college at age thirty for the first time in my life. I’m still not financially stable but I’ve come to the realization that I’ve obtained many interpersonal skills through my hard fought progress in the business world and with my mental disorder. Things have changed in that I want to make those things work for me and others in a way that makes sense and embraces who I truly am instead of what I feel I must be. I’ve had to realize I will never be a person without my mental disorder.<br />
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The things that are of the utmost importance to me in my life would be that pursuit of independence (creatively and financially) and to turn the horrible things that happened to me, that riddled me with chronic PTSD for the rest of my life, into something of value and beauty.<br />
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Here’s where it comes back to YouTube. In the past year I’ve started to find my voice with our Survival + Culture tagline. A tagline I picked because I felt it properly described my drive to talk about how I survived and how I’m trying to turn my life into something more - art even.<br />
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I had been blogging and writing for years but I was quickly realizing that popular writing had taken on a different form. Quick bite sized articles spliced into five tips laden heavily with screenshots of Tweets. I wasn’t keeping up. I’m still not on Twitter as I probably should be but YouTube was something I knew I could do and now I’ve fallen in love with it.<br />
Over the past year my channel has forced me to take a long hard look at myself. I mean this in two ways. Literally, as in my god, this is how I look on camera?! Also metaphysically, as in what can I provide to the kind people listening to what I have to say? The growth that has come due to these questions and that task has been immeasurable. It’s made me declutter myself and driven me to do the work. <br />
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I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to seeing what’s ahead.Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-78483713384526483372016-11-17T16:07:00.001-08:002016-11-17T16:17:36.779-08:005 DIY Hair Dye Hacks in Under 5 Minutes<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVaXXB5Lbk-wCyClQWob_dxpXlG8mUM-o0NJSOq4zcfNIE8rTdXUDqCzvtkXBg0LkRzI4PG0GcKsUkFZq1IuMa4EHWxa2ZUwRy7c86v1WavHFLc3vwhJFz-wEUyfKvFYZ01WvxwrSJb7Pc/s1600/5+Hacks+Title.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVaXXB5Lbk-wCyClQWob_dxpXlG8mUM-o0NJSOq4zcfNIE8rTdXUDqCzvtkXBg0LkRzI4PG0GcKsUkFZq1IuMa4EHWxa2ZUwRy7c86v1WavHFLc3vwhJFz-wEUyfKvFYZ01WvxwrSJb7Pc/s400/5+Hacks+Title.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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So here we are back to hair tutorials. I'm not going to lie. I didn't see myself doing hair tutorials or beauty tutorials ever. Which, I suppose in hindsight, is a bit odd. I often times forget that those little things we do in our own times, the skills we refine are indeed just that - skills. Pretty frequently I have to step back and eyeball my hobbies objectively and realize, oh yeah! This could be useful to my viewers! Such is the case around hair videos. I only wish I'd filmed shaving my head last year..</div>
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That being said my passions are in politics, activism, reading, writing and a lot of those things are really stuffy and intellectual or really solitary pursuits. To my surprise (yet again) I enjoyed doing this short and sweet video because let's face it - beauty videos are FUN! They're about please aesthetics and they're kind of relaxing.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4nBQh1vbO2FWqqsAxN2SlklV9wm6MRwem44eoHeWPZERPH6IZHTPr2gkwrs-HV50pg2grYL4Yke3CwR-W9vamwohNU7ztmCZskNCQ8h3_zuC2eHpVl1uiMEC1T4lmxs685AfSDufBGBke/s1600/5+DIY+Hacks+Thumb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4nBQh1vbO2FWqqsAxN2SlklV9wm6MRwem44eoHeWPZERPH6IZHTPr2gkwrs-HV50pg2grYL4Yke3CwR-W9vamwohNU7ztmCZskNCQ8h3_zuC2eHpVl1uiMEC1T4lmxs685AfSDufBGBke/s320/5+DIY+Hacks+Thumb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Who knows, maybe more beauty videos are in my future. In the meantime, check out this quick video that I hope will give you DIYers an edge up when dyeing your own hair. I'm a big proponent of learning to do it yourself. It's tricky and time consuming to dye your own hair but it can save you a LOT of money (especially when you're a brunette trying to stay platinum like me.)</div>
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Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-42752744057921204612016-11-02T13:10:00.001-07:002016-11-02T13:16:22.812-07:00Using Manic Panic (Specifically to Get Silver Hair)<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7X87GQsuA5K2iXgDSGwNSU6y2ezUb7LycwRNESk_IoJ5olheSdZJVBsHoIIuckvp2l5RNA1h2rAEubK2q8rDO26ThDpVtUOtIIVQCUN7daIX0q3tizbu9RvRmz9L-GRLIkGTSS9tnHUOp/s1600/Insta+Hair+Dye+Fin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7X87GQsuA5K2iXgDSGwNSU6y2ezUb7LycwRNESk_IoJ5olheSdZJVBsHoIIuckvp2l5RNA1h2rAEubK2q8rDO26ThDpVtUOtIIVQCUN7daIX0q3tizbu9RvRmz9L-GRLIkGTSS9tnHUOp/s320/Insta+Hair+Dye+Fin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Silver hair is all the rage right now. Some people are calling it Granny Hair. I don't know about you but when I see a woman rocking sexy silver hair at any age my first thought is not "Granny." Dammit, why do we always have to put a weird slightly negative spin on anything women do to feel beautiful. I think of Drow and Witchers when I see silver hair. Alas, I am nerd digressing.</div>
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There's some pretty good info out there on going silver all of which makes it sound drastic and difficult. I'm not going to lie the first time I did silver about a year ago it took me awhile to get there and figure out what I was doing. But now I'm passing the knowledge on to you so you don't have to go through the same trial and error. This year it wasn't as difficult. If you want to figure out how to gently start the bleaching process without frying your hair check out my series on how to do just that. Believe me, gently bleaching your hair (especially if it's dark) can be the most tricky part.</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/xzoH5YFoWRg"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiURzGqqgaEdNs2LzA2KDt6CxypHbpWx7sK0d3_lsYlBWkOoqxb4d9GaLbA5q5odXJNsialHIqNcvZk5_Y_NPFd_eCv6fDFehyphenhyphenXiQonjMTSBsMgHuMEDwoK1IV03J1I5w2dfUAlvk4LdYJv/s320/Bleach+1+Thumb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Silver is an interesting color because the base for it is Violet aka Purple. So that means that to get to silver you must to a degree go violet. It will neutralize the yellow and rust tones. There are two ways to go about this. One is with permanent hair color and the other is with non-permanent hair color (semi, demi). </div>
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Manic Panic is a great option for bleached hair because it doesn't include any harsh developers. It actually can condition your hair so it will add some much needed moisture back into the hair straight away. The key is being careful not to go with the wrong color or depth. The good news is, if you're shooting for silver and you go too far with the purple after a few washes you'll eventually get there albeit with a more roundabout route.</div>
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The downside to Manic Panic, obviously, is that it just doesn't last. Especially when you're going light (like in our case for silver.) But it's a good way to let your hair recover for a couple of weeks as you prep to go permanent. Let's face it no one wants to walk around with that rusty, just-bleached look, do they? Just be forewarned at about $8 - $10 a bottle a semi permanent can get pricey and tedious after a month or two. But it's a great way to let your hair rest on your route to permanent.</div>
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In this video I show you how to use Manic Panic to get silver with their toner and violet. Here's another sneaky tip. You can also straight with violet and just add hair conditioner until you get a pastel color. This method is cheaper just not as pigmented (depending on how dark you mix it I suppose.) Good luck! Check out the video to find out how and if you have additional questions then PLEASE leave me a comment on YouTube. It goes straight to me phone and I'll be happy to help!</div>
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Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-84147015998959141982016-10-31T15:01:00.001-07:002016-10-31T15:01:19.377-07:00Halloween Update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitsDMiyNlokPp8GuFbnvoL3pVCZkCqp502WKW-ikh4Qq3eJmNAt8Y-o79y76_ljucQ2tJ9DJNuhQwuy4xw6JXjZ0AwfdzaQLQOLHUzRoxS954NcoeJPRCCID5fVuV1GnQ-ol_ArCwgySaH/s1600/oh-hai-seal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitsDMiyNlokPp8GuFbnvoL3pVCZkCqp502WKW-ikh4Qq3eJmNAt8Y-o79y76_ljucQ2tJ9DJNuhQwuy4xw6JXjZ0AwfdzaQLQOLHUzRoxS954NcoeJPRCCID5fVuV1GnQ-ol_ArCwgySaH/s320/oh-hai-seal.jpg" width="304" /></a></div>
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It's been awhile.</div>
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No, I haven't forgotten about this blog. Okay, maybe I did a bit. Well, that's not entirely true.</div>
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So I started to dabble into Tumblr a little bit. I'll link that at the end of this article. I'm not going to lie to you. Social media has never really been "my thing." I've always been ages behind. I was on Dead Journal while people were pimping out their MySpace. I dismissed Instagram as an obnoxious fad and now most days I prefer to Facebook. Oh, and Facebook, I didn't have one of those or even a phone with Internet for the longest time either.</div>
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So obviously I've come a long way from that. Now I have a YouTube and an Instagram - of course a Facebook as well. I'm still holding out on Twitter, perhaps unwisely. I'll get there some day. For now it's still a bit like reading Greek to me trying to decipher people tagging one another. I realize this all makes me sound incredibly ancient. I had a laughable run in with Snap Chat when my friend encouraged me to download it. Needless to say, I had no idea what I was doing despite her best efforts.</div>
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So in regards to this blog I haven't really been sure what I was doing. I just knew that I needed one to go along with my YouTube channel. Prior to this I had one for a few years that did well enough I suppose. I used it to publish misanthropic ramblings, poems and short stories to no avail while I bitterly lived my banker life instead of my best life.</div>
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In two months it'll have been a year since I started my YouTube channel. I adore it. Now that I've take steps to become the artist I've always felt I am inside I've never felt more inspired. For several hours each week I spend some of my precious time breathing trying to turn emotional garbage into something beautiful with a meaningful impact. It's crazy, fun and heart rending sometimes.</div>
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In the wake of this I've neglected this blog a wee bit, but I've returned! The reality is my first love has been writing since just about forever. I feel the beginnings of creating a YouTube channel has heavily involved me finding my voice and just how to express my wee narrative. I feel like a year in I'm happily finding my stride and I have something to offer in written form as well.</div>
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So if you've some how found this amongst the sea of things that is the Internet, hello, welcome. I hope to be seeing you on here again and keep an eye out for more updates on my life, insights and this crazy YouTube thing I'm doing. For now I'm super frazzled on coffee and about to hit the gym for a much needed cardio session before working our midnight sale at the shop. </div>
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Happy Halloween all, I hope you're all enjoying what I consider to be the best holiday of the year! Here's what I wore for Halloween this weekend. I had a blast! The Phantom of the Opera is one of my favorite characters and favorite musicals.</div>
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Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-43795955570458094862016-09-12T18:59:00.006-07:002016-09-13T20:50:21.951-07:00Owning Yourself Financially<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Originally from Houston, Texas, Runic Rigel is a YouTuber and writer who helps her fiancé run a small, local business in the small Midwestern city in which they live.</i><br />
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<br /><br />It may seem at odds with the current mindset but I believe we’re living in a time where loving what you do is a prerequisite for doing it. This rule applies especially to those of you in pursuit of being your own boss or creative guide. Motivating when you’re in charge of your own schedule is freeing but terrifying. There is no upper management to blame if you thrive or fail on the guidelines that no one but you has set for yourself. I’m also learning that when you work for yourself, part of the reason you must love what you do is because, there is no escape. Now our work lives, social lives and personal lives intricately mingle with one another. There are certain things we can do but social media has taken on an almost uncanny life of it’s own. Aspects of our lives will cohort and meet regardless of what we do. There is no off button.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Even when I’ve pried myself away from my desk I’m still attached to the store’s e-mail, Ebay and employees contacting me through my phone. When I go on personal outings like a walk or to run errands people that recognize us from the little retail store my boyfriend owns want to stop and have a conversation. Are we taking certain items for trade? How much cash could they get? People want to talk shop not realizing this is what we already do every day - sometimes from the moment we wake up until the wee hours of the morning. Unwittingly, they are infringing on very precious personal time. It’s not infrequent that I’ve been up until 2 a.m. in the shop pricing items and setting up displays during the only time I can work on them — after the store closes. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Representing yourself or owning an institution eats up everything. It consumes your thoughts, your conversations, how you behave and if you don’t keep it in check it’ll consume your interpersonal relationships too. It changes peoples’ perception of you. They don’t see the amount of time you exchange for the compensation you receive. Nine times out of ten it doesn’t all come out in the wash. A nine to five this is not. It isn’t uncommon for both me and my partner to spend over twelve hours a day individually. We price records while we watch TV, we take calls and texts from employees at all hours, we simultaneously take vacation while also attending conventions and shopping for the store, we respond to online inquiries from wherever, whenever. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I don’t just mean the shop either. Right now I am working to establish a platform for my art. Almost every minute I’m not working on the store I’m working on my own personal start-up, a business that is made up of my thoughts and me alone. When I’m not working on the store I’m working on focusing my feelings, my ideas and creating them into a product of self-expression or research. Anytime I’m spending my time on something that doesn’t manifest into a product that I can cherish and be proud of I feel guilty. Many times this makes leisure time less satisfying while others it’s more enjoyable, rare and sweet. The reality is we’re not guaranteed tomorrow. We’re all on borrowed minutes. I want mine to count for something. This is where I turned when I went about-face from the banking industry. These works with long hours, little pay and no health insurance are my pursuit of passion. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It takes work to run a business but it also takes work to make sure that the business doesn’t run you. It’s a fine, vastly rewarding and terrifying line that at times feels exhausting, overwhelming and the furthest thing from gratifying. In what is being increasingly referred to as a shared economy adulthood no longer seems limitless but far more like indentured servitude to corporate institutions. If you are not laden with debt and loans from the pursuit of education it’s just as likely you will be chained to debt regarding medical expenses or some other form of credit. However, I do believe in this Wild West called the Internet we have an advantage. The feather in our cap is that we’ve grown up in and around this world of inter-connectivity and the pursuit of intuitive design. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I won’t lie, I’m on the older side of the Millennial time frame. I started out with no Internet, then dial up and didn’t have cable high-speed until I was almost out of High School. Yet, I do that in this point in history if you are willing to put in the work and commit regularly to do what you love and if you use resources like the Internet to connect, you can do so to the right people. They’re out their waiting to intimate, collab and commune with you if only you can find them — whether they be customer, partner or friend. A platform is waiting if you’re ready to spend the thankless work of building it from nothing. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />In this new era of phones, apps and social media replacing the social life we have to align our skills and time to insist upon their value. Self-motivation and the hours we have available to work are our biggest commodity. If you can learn to walk the tight-rope of time management skills and relationship building I truly believe the possibilities are endless. That’s what I’m counting on anyway. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />So owning a business is hard, but you think I should do it? Not necessarily. What I am saying is that by pursuing something you love you open up doors not only for yourself but others. I’m telling you it isn’t always easy but there’s a rewarding feeling in there that your time is being exploited instead of a corporation slapping you with a number and exploiting you instead. What I’m letting you know I believe is that the “little guy” is still important and that in the land of Netflix and chill maybe it’s time get out of our feet and take ownership of the economy that’s been tilted from favoring us.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />In a world stacked against the little guy finding your own way can be it’s own mighty form of protest against an unjust system that favors the already grossly wealthy and powerful. We are encouraged each day to embrace complacency and consumer. Instead, I suggest that you feed the monster of productivity, just don’t let it get at your fingers or you might lose the proverbial hand you need to do good work. Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-27406926118951977772016-06-20T23:53:00.000-07:002016-06-29T19:19:38.642-07:00LONDON - Three Countries in Two Weeks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm writing this on the train to Amsterdam as the countryside soars past us. The blade of the tall wind mills generating electricity remind me of the ride to Minneapolis from Wisconsin but we're far from the Twin Cities now. There is a cheerful, quiet din in the train car but without my headphones in my ears I jump every time another train from the opposite direction passes by at the speed of lightening. There is always an initial sound of a head-on rush as aerodynamics impact with one another although the trains do not.<br />
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After traveling more regularly over the past two or three years I've learned it's always better to record your journey as you're taking it. I still regret not journaling my solo Las Vegas trip during the course of it while the bizarre memories were fresh (aside from a few hangovers.) So I've resolved that this time will be different. That being said, what better time to write about this exodus than when I'm zipping through the French countryside headed to Belgium and ultimately beyond that to the Netherlands?<br />
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London was almost exactly how I expected it to be, almost to the point of irony. The city was exceptionally well-kept and the infrastructure was clear and effective. Blocky, black cabs buzzed through every vein of the city seemingly with frequency than private cars. Hailing one from almost any point was easy and unfortunately for our pocketbooks we relied on them heavily. At one point we purchased an Oyster card determined to master the renowned underground train system. That plan was quickly usurped by our ignorance when we spent fifty pounds purchasing a week long access to bus and tram only to realize that the tram was not in fact The Tube as we tried to pass through the turn style and failed. Not to be outdone we resolved to take a bus and quickly proceeded to get lost and an add hour to ultimately what was a hike to the British Museum.<br />
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The were many men wearing neatly tailored suits that whizzed by not in sports cars but on bicycles were striking to me. Speaking of bicycles, the traffic in London is down right harrowing. Shout out to the fellow I saw languidly peddling down the thoroughfare one hand on the bars, the other ushering food into his mouth. He gave me a look over as a crimson double decker bus roared around him and he continued on unconcerned. Swerving and going around other vehicles of all sorts seems to be a key component of navigating the narrow streets of London-town. Combine this with the fact that they drive on the side of the street that opposes the driving norms of most every other country trying not to get run over takes more conscious effort than usual.<br />
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Its typical that the first time you travel a place you do the tourist circuit. You tour the sites and get it all out of the way. Here in Europe that's a little more difficult due to the fact that these legendary cities are teeming, even cobbled, with history. I usually prefer my second visit to a location after I've spent the first familiarizing myself and playing tourist. It's a relief, in a way, to get the admiring of beautiful spots out of the way, pass through the sensory overload and begin to tune into the pulse of the city you're in. Since we've got a full plate this trip I doubt that will happen this venture so it feels like I've been buzzing with confused excitement non-stop since we arrived a week ago so I'll beg you to understand if my current thoughts are fuzzy and slightly sleep deprived.<br />
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I bring all that up to say that seeing Big Ben in person and hearing his song was delightful and made my heart happy. Seeing Westminster Abbey and leaving a kiss for the memorial of Lord Byron made me more deeply connected to the human experience. It's nothing short of sobering to stand under arches ten centuries old or to meander over the bones that once escorted great minds. I don't think you can judge a trip like this by one key moment, Maybe I just haven't yet had that moment, or more likely they're all overwhelming wonderful, sometimes solemn and profound minutes that merge into one fantastic experience. Traveling is a greatly existential experience and I'd even argue it's an art form in and of itself. Travel is about touching the Earth like Buddha. It as much about feeling and traveling through the present moment as it is about passing through the halls and monuments built for our use and perusal within an infrastructure far greater than any one person.<br />
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I suppose, if I had to choose one of the things I enjoyed most in London it would be dining at Gordon Ramsay's restaurant succinctly titled Ramsay and even more so watching the production of the Phantom of the Opera on the West End. I suppose that's two things. The show is a staple and I can see why. Although I already knew most of it's songs by heart I had never seen the story unfold and I fell deeply in love with it.<br />
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Ultimately, London was simultaneously eerily familiar while being nothing at all like the United States. I found myself envious of their infrastructure full of intention and ease. The whole place seemed pervaded by an impenetrable force of dry humor and common sense. At times that was refreshing, other times it felt stuffy and slightly disingenuous. Overall, I really enjoyed my time there. It was a hive of culture, art, and prosperity which the British are rightly quite proud of. I enjoyed spectating their methods in action as much as I enjoyed browsing their art collections and monuments to history, work, legacy and sacrifice. I think America could learn a thing or two from our ritualistic friends across the Pond.<br />
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Crossing the Chunnel was a breeze and I'll write more soon about the city I found on the other side. If you want to see video of my travel check out my YouTube channel - Runic Rigel<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHFhL7fM0rI"><img alt=" London Vlog Day 1" border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVq9HHC9CNSOyIAYTBHavLXmoNbOvqsFnEvPbDgQaaBpo6ELDqPgPirdd1PlrJDwNplTYzsC3gInOsaX2QxdTycWKF1OdZ2QdgvXl0qDIryzkQ9TYn-0CyTP-OFz09o8rn3952T1l1gemD/s320/Day+1+London+Thumb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHFhL7fM0rI">LONDON VLOG DAY ONE + LOOK BOOK</a></div>
<br />Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-46802403125257861562016-06-09T22:00:00.000-07:002016-06-09T22:01:51.626-07:00How to Learn Any Language Fast, Easily and for Free - Great Tips for Travelers<br />
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Are you or have you ever been about to head out of the country on a trip and wanted to learn a new language to help you on your adventure? Learning some basics of a new language is a great way to make allies out of locals, new friends and of course for your trip to go much, much smoother. <br />
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But learning a new language is far from easy. If it were everyone would be doing it. And if you've tried it you know rote memorization simply doesn't work. It's extremely difficult to retain information that way especially if you are no longer a child, teen or young adult. Those of us out of our twenties have it a little rougher because our brains have a more difficult time integrating a new form of communication into one we've already established.</div>
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If you've turned to YouTube and the Internet you've probably also figured out there are a lot of videos and websites out there looking to make money off of your attempt to learn a new language. You seriously don't have to spend any or much money to learn a language these days. If you haven't gotten to that level of frustration great! This should save you some time. If you're feeling lost I'm glad you've found this page and this video.</div>
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I started out learning French by teaching myself using the strategies I outline in this video. When I returned to college as a non-traditional student last year I placed in French 102 (instead of 101) but since I was self-taught I opted to start out at 101. I've learned a lot over the past year and a half about how to teach yourself on a budget (or with no budget but zero dollars!)</div>
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Check out this video if you are looking for a quick way to build a solid foundation that will allow you to begin to comprehend, understand and even speak a little bit of a language in a way that you will actually retain information. I don't claim that you'll be speaking fluently in a matter of weeks but I do think these methods are a great way to start especially if you're on a time crunch.</div>
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Good luck!</div>
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By the way, if you're new to my blog or YouTube channel please subscribe! I would love to get to know you. I do a lot of various content but the consistent features are Travel, Veganism, Sex, Culture and Relationships. See you there!</div>
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Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-17250444837289533802016-05-16T00:25:00.002-07:002016-05-16T00:26:17.986-07:00How To: iZombie Edible Brain Noodles Recipe<div style="text-align: center;">
So these past two weeks I have been super busy with end of term and of course finals meaning I was only able to get one video up a week instead of two. This was just a fun idea I had while using my new vegetable spiralizer Viola! Brain noodles.</div>
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I was actually really pleased with how these turned out! It was quick, easy (a little messy) and if you aren't a fan of the show, guess what? They're still a blast to make. This would be super fun to do with kids and of course great for Halloween. I hope you guys enjoy it! (Video below.)</div>
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All you need is a spiralizer, watermelon and grenadine! The best part about this gory treat is that it's actually just fruit so it's healthy and it's vegan! So, that means it's great for people with dietary restrictions - and as far as party snacks go, not terrible for you. Check it out! Braaaaaains.</div>
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<br />Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-89361782424754035902016-04-25T11:12:00.000-07:002016-04-25T11:20:31.802-07:00Lemonade by Beyoncé - Turning Shit into LifeI haven't gotten to watch all of Queen Bey's Lemonade yet, but that woman makes me proud to be a woman and proud to be from Htown. I've read a lot of the lyrics from her album. It's freeing and emotional and I'm glad she's sharing her pain. I admire her for turning her life into an art form.<br />
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The reality is that right now in history we are evolving and transcending and re-evaluating our roles as they relate to gender, sexuality and power. It's part of the process, it's part of the human condition and it's healthy.<br />
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We're trying to figure out what monogamy is when people don't force us to stay in it and when it's no longer about land or title. We're figure out where to draw our own boundaries and how to love without control.<br />
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I myself have had a few romantic upheavals in my time. Those of you that know me know that well enough. I think a lot about the concepts of loyalty and unconditional love that my grandfather taught me. Yet, his was a different time, his wife never worked. So how do I take his concepts as a Marine and one of the best men I've ever known and apply that to me, a feminine on the exterior, masculine on the interior woman in a world that doesn't have the same values or methods as someone I know to be "good?"<br />
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In school I just read the Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera and these ideals have been coming up more prominently and rapidly in my mind as of late, especially as Jason and I discuss our growing commitment to one another. If the relationship we have is a rooting plant, like all plants and great trees, it grew out of shit and detritus into something complex and alive.<br />
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I'm watching my artistic heroes die and the boot heel of the American economy press harder on our backs and I'm thinking more and more about perspectives and what it means to be a living creature on this little ball of blue and green that we're killing softly.<br />
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There's a prominent kitsch that our lives have been shrink wrapped in and sold wholesale. I reject that fate. I do by best to rage against it each and every day. Some days I do this more quietly than others. Some days I do it solemnly, others with a laugh and disbelieving shake of my head. I wonder how this can be life while not even really knowing what the hell life is.<br />
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When I see a mainstream artist like Beyoncé do something like Lemonade or David Bowie wish us farewell in the end I feel privileged to watch their struggle through art. I honor the fact Beyoncé shared her pain and her own turmoil with us. She let us watch her grow right up through the topsoil of decaying matter and passed on lifeforms. It makes me reflect on my own life and the powerful potential in finding an unapologetic way of being yourself. I become aware of the limitless authority in finding a way to love that self with a broken, dimensional beauty that no physical exterior could ever tell.Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-8226025397317401162016-04-21T14:37:00.002-07:002016-04-21T14:37:44.322-07:00Chained to Student Debt to Be Financially Independent | War is Peace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's hard to believe that in a month my first year of college will be behind me. Last Summer, I left the banking job I had had for almost three years to pursue the life of a non-traditional student. Things weren't going well in my position as the Retail Loan Processor there. The job was high stress, management was at a stage where it kept changing hands and the boss that was assigned to me knew little more about my job than my original boss. My first boss, who's authority at the bank was treacherously phased out over time, had made the position at the bank much more human, much more livable.<br />
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The difference between the first woman who oversaw my work and the second is that my original boss was a kind, personable woman that was confident enough in her position to defer to the Vice President I worked with on a daily basis. When she was in doubt regarding as to which processes were most efficient to complete our work we shared an element of trust that always allowed us to over come challenges as they arose. My new boss knew almost nothing about the documentation that I spent about eighty percent of my time producing. However, unlike the management prior, she still felt confident and validated in usurping and impeding that process. Once the other two processors at the bank caught onto her disregard (or indifference at best) to the experience of myself and the Vice President, a woman who had been at the bank for twenty years, it was all over. My work life went from stressful to untenable in a matter of months.<br />
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It wasn't just the end of my time at the bank that had got me thinking about my future as a pencil pusher. I am the creative sort and my primary passion has always been writing, self-expression and I guess, essentially, that means art. I'm fascinated by the human experience, although what that even means is open to interpretation. I myself couldn't tell you exactly what I mean. The entire thing is a process. Right?<br />
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My adult life had been in tumult since before it began. I was a young woman that emerged from my at seventeen. As a rattled victim of long-term child abuse with post-traumatic stress disorder I became an emancipated minor and entered the work force. Although I would have graduated from High School one semester later I opted to get my general education diploma (GED) and start working right away. At that point I already had an apartment of my own and bills to pay. Granted, my communication skills weren't the greatest at this point. I had lived the majority of my life in deference and terror towards authority figures. I had a hard time vocalizing the fact my homework was being neglected because I was working full-time and going to class. When I was granted with the choice to end up on the streets and cling desperately to a High School diploma I chose a different manner of survival instead.<br />
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Things evened out very gradually over handfuls of years. I worked my way up from fast food to accounting. Somehow, in my early twenties, I landed a job in the Investor Accounting department of a Goldman Sachs subsidiary during the housing crash. I filed mortgage insurance claims upon foreclosure. This was during the economic crisis when the housing bubble popped so business was booming. As foreclosures abounded and the housing market devoured itself my company began to implode. In hindsight, this was inevitable. However, as a young twenty something I remember being good at filing claims but unsure of what the long term implications of my work were. I began to slowly become aware of the way corporate America alienated it's workers by compartmentalizing their responsibilities.<br />
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In some ways it was no different from where I started out as a "sandwich artist" at Subway. When someone ordered a sandwich we would scurry to the production line and one person would cut the bread and place the meat and cheese on it before passing it down to the vegetable person and finally to condiments and the cashier. Subway had found it was more efficient and sanitary to pass the sandwich along to compose it instead of employees cycling down the line back and forth from one sandwich and customer to the next. The end product for the Subway customer was a delicious sandwich. At the mortgage servicing company I was only part of the long assembly line of people that would touch a subprime loan that had ultimately gone into default.<br />
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I spent my days pouring over the history of loans from their festive origination. I would comb through pictures of home appraisals after the living space had been abandoned. We found everything from hoards of name brand clothing to dead cats and dogs that had been relegated to their fate like dusty Nikes or television sets. My job was to prove we had done everything we could to keep the person in their home. I scoured our system call logs and story after story unfolded of people ill with cancer, dying or just impoverished. Their homes were slipping from their hands and I was making sure we composed a story that painted us at their side, as their advocate. I allocated fees, specified the process of bankruptcy and checked the periods each state allowed (or didn't) for the borrower to potentially repossess their home. It always struck me, those terms, borrower, investor, processor. No one had a face, we were all letters and numbers relegated to equations.<br />
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I had to report the adjusting rates of the mortgages too. I would read the interest rate histories, cringing, as I watched the rates jettison sometimes from eight percent interest to sixteen. These loans were high risk but the borrower was approved anyway with a pat on the back, a handshake and what they thought was the embodiment of the American Dream handed over in the form of a mortgage. The homeowner would try feebly to feed the monster consuming their income. The foreclosure would always inevitably come after the rate increased month by month or year by year. Subtly, each finger was pried away from the little piece of paper that represented the purported ownership of property and a home. <br />
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In the end, if I had done my job, the claim would be paid to some varying degree and the investor would be reimbursed for their legal troubles and for their investment. Somehow, the borrower would still end up owing a plethora of fees and debts. The investor took back the property to market it once more and the process would start again when the mortgage changed hands. When I started with the loan servicing company I had originally been expected to file four claims daily. After three years that number had doubled and then tripled. At one point I was so crushed under my workload that I smiled to myself, left my cubicle and vacated the ten story building that was a hive of mortgaging intricacies and modern business. A day later I returned at the request of my supervisors and started again. The files on my desk were inches thick. Several a day. Did each one represent the upheaval of a life? Of a family? Probably.<br />
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Some days protesters rallied outside of the building. Some of us gathered at the windows and stared down from a view stories up within our hive at ACORN and their enraged members. I was just a broke kid in my early twenties trying to rise above the stigma of child abuse. I was just doing my job. A company wide e-mail was sent out by the CEO that day vehemently admonishing us for going to the windows to peer out at the company's adversaries. It was unprofessional supposedly. I read the electronic letter and smirked at the idea of trying to control a ten story building full of working, tax paying adults as though they were children that should be quelled of their inherent curiosity. I was beginning to despise big business. <br />
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When the government bailed out the car companies and banks that had torn the economy apart I was outraged. I would have rather lost my job and been bailed out as an individual. The reasoning given, of course, was that unemployment would have skyrocketed. Yet, as an employee of the toppling industry I welcomed the demise of my employer. I had seen an ugly side of the work force. One that dehumanized not only its employers but the consumers it relied upon to survive. I wanted it to end. Ultimately, it ended anyway. The mortgage servicing company I worked for is no more. It liquidated all of the subprime mortgages in its portfolio and ceased to be. They outsourced all of our jobs to India. I slipped out the door towards the end as they started sending my co-workers to India to train our replacements. That's when I made up my mind to go back to school as soon as I could.<br />
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As soon as I could turned out to be later than I thought. The first time I tried to go back to college I enrolled at a community college in Houston, Texas. Although I lived five minutes from the school, miraculously, I wasn't zoned as a resident which meant I had to pay double to attend. There was a vote that would have zoned my neighborhood into the system but the wealthy neighborhood of plantation homes and mansions across the freeway rallied against it in opposition to the few dollars it would increase their taxes each year. Their children were going to private institutions and they had no desire to contribute to perceived education handouts to those of that lived near the industrial parks and mostly Hispanic neighborhoods. I was furious, but unable to come up with an alternative, I went to the school willing to pay double. It wasn't meant to be. I attended for a month and was making A's before I was dropped from my classes after the financial aid office failed to process my government loans properly. The infrastructure there was terrible and losing my ability to go to school was a disaster.<br />
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I went to live on my aunt's futon. Then, chasing a long-distance relationship that would ultimately fail, I ended up in the Midwest. Once again I ended up working for the banking industry. Another three years went by before the opportunity to go back to school opened in earnest. Now, as I've said, I'm about to complete my first year of college at the University of Wisconsin. I'd like to say that it's equivocally been the best decision of my life and I'm assured of the next step in my journey and ultimately my career.<br />
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But you can already guess what I'm going to say, can't you? With the coming election the cost of college education is being criticized. It's playing a rather large role in campaigning. After this first year alone, I already have over ten thousand dollars of shiny new debt in my life. For consideration, my vehicle was ten thousand dollars when I bought it. On my banking salary it took me six years to pay it off. As I face celebrating the completion of my first year of college there's a debate waging in my head over well... wages.<br />
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I am coming into a college with quite a different life experience from the rest of my peers. Honestly, I adore college life. There are many departments devoted to helping you succeed. You can get healthcare for your mental or physical state. I love pouring over the works of brilliant thinkers and scientists. Do I feel like my worldview has broadened? Do I feel more intelligent? Absolutement. I'm learning another language. I feel my writing has improved. I'm creating more content than ever. I feel inspired. I suppose the question is can you put a price on something like that?<br />
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Teachers will tell you no and they're absolutely right. Can you put a price on love or the human experience? I'd say no. Yet, at the end of the day we all need to get paid for our efforts and services in order to survive. So should I, like the parents that opposed the college zoning refuse to contribute to society because I for instance, have no children? Should education only be socialized up to grade twelve? If education is really so important than why aren't we more heavily invested in it as a society and a community? I'm not just talking about academia either. Where are the socialized vocational schools or courses in High School preparing us for more than structural obeisance? If credit is going to rule someones ability to get a job or a home why aren't we talking about it and teaching our youths how to balance a checkbook? As a banker and now a non-traditional college student I have many questions about the state of our educational system but that could be another topic entirely.<br />
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What it really comes down to ultimately is that my education is going to cost me approximately fifty thousand for a four year degree. If I come out of college making relatively the same wage I did as a respectable desk jokey it stands to reason that if it takes me six years to pay off ten grand I could be paying for my education for at least the next thirty years. This is to say nothing about pursuing a graduate degree or doctorate.<br />
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As a thirty year old woman looking to education to become more financially self-sufficient in pursuit of a career in earnest, I ask you, what sense does it make to pursue a debt that could strangle and enslave me until retirement or beyond? Has my chance to learn and grow in this society through the pursuit of education already come and gone? And it is it fair for a student, new to the world, to enter into our workforce and society with this kind of debt already shackling their feet or collaring their throats?<br />
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What's more terrifying yet is this. Last year or so, when I paid my taxes apparently the state of Wisconsin overcompensated me in my refund due to no fault of my own. They demanded back a few hundred dollars. At the time my vehicle wasn't paid off and so I was living paycheck to paycheck. Their solution was to deduct this money in two installments directly from my pay. If I hadn't had the help of a close friend I would have been unable to make rent. I would have potentially faced homelessness on the whim of an errant government. The government took my wage and I had no say. I was helpless.<br />
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When you take out government loans as I have had to do in order to pursue my education the reality is that once you are done pursuing your education (be it indefinitely or because of graduation) the government can begin garnishing your wages. Which means, if you are in debt to the government you are potentially enslaved by them. You are potentially taking a pay cut for thirty years because you wanted to become an educated member of society. So it seems to me, if you're going to college, you better be damn sure you're coming out the other side with the ability to nab a job that will pay you a wage to live and then some. Otherwise the wage increase you can expect from a degree will be long-term neutralized by the purchase of the degree at best. Worst case scenario you'll be so far in debt you won't be self-sustainable at all.<br />
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That begs the question though, what about all of the students working as baristas and retail cashiers? How are they going to pay back their debts to the government? Do they not deserve to pursue their education even if they can't immediately turn it into a viable position at the desk of some corporation with a ten story building? It isn't as black and white as all of that. I would argue we need artists and free thinkers in our society more than ever. Simultaneously, the biggest conservative advocates of reducing the government's footprint on our lives will diminish free education as a handout and allow the governments exploitation of our nations students as they attempt to avert poverty.<br />
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Regardless, as I ponder my next year of college this debate occurring inside of me is as real as it is valid not just for me but for students all across this country. Is this worth it? Is this ethical? What point does the pursuit of self-sufficiency serve if you become shackled to banks and the government or the very society you're attempting to change, perhaps, even before you enter it?<br />
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As I look over my loan statements I am reminded of my days, tucked into a cubicle watching the interest rates of home borrowers soar from their grasps. I think back to my days of High School as I considered how to survive and educate myself. I still have medical bills from those uninsured days at eighteen that haunt my abysmal credit score to these days, well into my late twenties. <br />
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I'm reminded of learning about feudal societies built on class structures, indentured servitude and slavery. I was taught for the longest time that these archaic methods were outdated, cruel and as I was fortunate to grow up in a land of liberty where the pursuit of happiness is sacred and freedom is guaranteed. Yet, as my debts close in around me for maintaining my education and health I can't help but wonder if feudalism hasn't migrated across time and sea to wear the guise of capitalist democracy. What's worse is I wonder where we would be headed if I had never been able to learn those cautionary tales of history at all. <br />
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The freedom we are consuming to this day is a watered down version of the concept. It does a disservice to the very word. Capitalism has robbed us of our right to health, to education and our mobility within our society and the world. Corrupt politicians have aided this process over time like a bartender topping off the bottles of vodka with water. We have been fed for so long a substitute for what we seek that one concentrated of drop of true independence feels intoxication and we are told that that feeling, in and of itself is a privilege that comes with a price tag instead of unalienable right.<br />
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Some day soon, students will have to find a way to educate their selves and protest the educational system and requisites for jobs without feeding a toxic infrastructure. One day soon we will have to find a way to progress the human race without letting our intellectualism and skills feed those who would broker our bodies, time, abilities and desires. By playing on a board clearly tilted to our disadvantage we some how concede that the game is fair and that the victory of our oppressors is valid. We already have to trade our bodies for coins in order to maintain our bodies and the bodies of our children. We pay insurance intermediaries to survive. The only thing I can think of that is as equally tragic and disgusting as putting a monetary cost on one's body is stamping a price tag on the human experience and the dimensions of the mind.Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-90962658760201201202016-03-23T08:33:00.002-07:002016-03-23T08:51:30.301-07:00The Physical Effects of Trauma On The Brain<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
Oz - "You see, I never had a family of my own...<br />
so I guess I just wanted to give the citizens of Oz everything."</blockquote>
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Elphaba - "So you lied to them."</blockquote>
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Oz - "Elphaba!<br />
Where I come from we believe all sorts of things that aren't true.<br />
We call it... history.<br />
A man's called a traitor or a liberator<br />
A rich man's a thief or philanthropist<br />
Is one a crusader? Or ruthless invader?<br />
It's all in which label is able to persist<br />
There are precious few at ease, with moral ambiguities<br />
So we act as though they don't exist."</blockquote>
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- Wicked the Musical</div>
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There are cycles that proliferate themselves and these are the hardest to break. The older I get the more that I begin to understand there is science behind the cyclic patterns of trauma. By educating myself, I have to believe that I can save myself.</div>
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"People abused as children show reduced brain volume in regions governing emotion, learning and memory. Deficits that make them more vulnerable to relapse and relapses of greater severity."<br />
-Bill Hickaway, June 2014, "Brain Retains Signs of Childhood Trauma," <i>Yale News</i></blockquote>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">Art titled, "Anxiety Attack" source listed below</td></tr>
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According to a 2014 study done by the Yale School of Medicine child abuse has scientifically proven long-term effects on cognition and brain function that persist far past adolescence and into adulthood. There are several factors that impact the severity of this including whether or not the trauma was a single instance or if the abuse was frequent/long-term (chronic). As a survivor of chronic child abuse who was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder in 2002 I am all too aware of the way one's brain becomes less of a systematic processing center and more of an intangible maelstrom of concepts, timelines, survival and the abstract. When living with the residual effects of child abuse it's extremely easy to become isolated in what can feel like an intangible mental cycle. Sometimes, we repeat past mistakes without genuinely even realizing what we are doing until the repercussions are indisputable.</div>
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The cold truth is that people who have suffered from abuse and neglect as children have brains that developed differently. Our developmental process occurred differently than those who were consistently taught to bond with others through skin on skin contact, reassurance and all of the other protective learning experiences our caretakers should give. These experiences that our parents or caregivers are supposed to provide have more than sentimental value. They teach us interaction and nurture our capacity for survival. From the moment an infant cries in order to seek a response and they receive it their brains are developing methods of survival that involve reaching out and having their needs (both physical and mental) met. Abused children are often times denied these fundamental exchanges early on. The results are staggering and long-term.</div>
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Did you know that people exposed to long-term abuse and bullying as children age faster on a <i style="font-weight: bold;">cellular level?</i> According to a study done by the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience of Duke University where DNA samples were taken from thousands of children being exposed to or victims of violence at a young age these kinds of trauma actually expedite the aging process on a cellular level. The study's lead author Idan Shalev is quoted as saying, "Those kids are actually older than they're supposed to be." Shalev continued on to tell LiveScience that these subjects were already aging prematurely and would be at risk for a premature death. To reach this conclusion the scientists of Duke University looked to a strand of DNA called telomeres. These strands can act as a molecular clock of sorts when they are monitored for vigor by length. Through the process of cell division (as we age) the telomeres that protect the genes of our chromosomes grow shorter. The study consistently showed that children between ages 5 and 10 that had been exposed to abuse had telomeres that had shortened much faster. This is likely due to the inflammation caused by chronic stress.</div>
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Stress is the hard line to the heart of the issue. We are discovering more and more each day that constant duress has overwhelming effects on development, cognitive ability and physical health. Though many people associate their childhood and adolescence as a time they might refer to as "the good all days" spent with little obligation and therefore the least amount of stress they may experience in their lifetime; a victim of childhood abuse is not so fortunate. The developmental years of a child abuse victim can be fraught with constant panic and the overwhelming demand to adapt in order to survive. The years that should have involved learning to interact through positive reinforcement, prepare for adulthood and safely discover or test boundaries are spent instead anticipating at any moment the need to fight or fly. These years of learning are consumed instead by recovering mentally and physically from the infliction of trauma. </div>
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"At a neural level, uncertainty and inaction is counter-instinctual. We are hard wired to work out and respond to threats to our survival as quickly as possible. That hard wiring is in the limbic system of our brain. It's home to the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal access which releases adrenaline in response to a perceived threat. It prepares you for violent physical action. Most of us know this as fight or flight."<br />
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-Dr. Sean Richardson, "Mental Toughness: Think Differently About Your World," <i>Tedx Talks, </i>2011</blockquote>
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Fight or flight response is designed as a defense mechanism for the occasional event in which our lives or the lives of our loved ones may be in danger. Every living creature strives to minimize risks to the survival of themselves. We are trained to mitigate situations that might hazard the proliferation of our species. Arguably, if you are constantly exposed to risk you are being ineffectual to that end. </div>
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When your fight or flight response is activated there are some very real physical effects. Most obviously your heart rate increases as almost thirty hormones are released into your blood stream. Your muscles smooth over in anticipation for physical exertion and to allow more oxygen into your bloodstream and lungs. Veins in your skin quite skillfully constrict, sometimes causing your skin to chill, in order to more effectively distribute blood supply. Your immune system and digestion momentarily slow way down to focus your body's energy towards your muscles that will tense and energize with the new attention your body is giving. In a nutshell, your body effectually becomes a super computer capable of task managing it's resources by anticipating what you need most at that moment.</div>
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This organic, intuitive choreography happens in an instant but this is not a level of homeostasis that can long be maintained. When activated long-term or with constant repetition the effects on the body are monstrously grueling, as we are learning. Take a look at this image below of a CT scan done on two different three year old children. The child on the right suffered from severe sensory deprivation and neglect. Their brain is significantly smaller than average and has abnormal cortex development.</div>
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If neglect can cause such augmentation in brain development so early on then what effects might hyper-stimulation of the flight or fight response portend? In referencing the studies of Dr. Bruce Perry M.D, Ph. D from 2000 and 2009 we begin to see that constant anxiety inflicted by chronic child abuse has many over-arching effects on brain development. This is so much the case that chronic stimulation of these parts of the brain can cause a persistent fear state that can "wear out" other parts of the brain such as the hippocampus which is involved in cognition and memory. This brings me back to my initial point about the long-term impairment abuse can have on an adult victim's memory.</div>
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"Chronic activation of the neuronal pathways involved in the fear response can create permanent memories that shape the child's perception of and response to the environment. While this adaptation may be necessary for survival in a hostile world, it can become a way of life that is difficult to change, even if the environment improves."<br />
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-Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2009, "Understanding the Effects of Maltreatment on the Brain Development" </blockquote>
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This means that fear becomes the rule instead of the exception. When the need to analyze situations for danger becomes habitual early on out of necessity the way a person interacts with the people and the world around them is altered --- possibly for the remainder of their lives. This is extremely important to bear in mind when interacting with victims of abuse. Studies from the Child Trauma Academy elaborate to say that behaviorally many times abuse victims develop the need for what is called hyper-arousal or perhaps more relateably referred to as hyper-vigilance. This is the process wherein over-exposure to trauma sensitizes the pathways of the victim's brain to the fear response. Over time it begins to triggers the fear response without conscious thought. The brain develops so that is constantly alert and consumed by searching for non-verbal cues or environmental threats. This can impede a child's ability to learn and eventually an adult's ability to learn or focus on tasks at hand. </div>
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One can become dissociated with verbal cues actually stated when due to hyper-vigilance the "listener" is actually making deductions on implications and body language. As someone diagnosed with hyper-vigilance I can tell you there is a fine line I walk where at times I take in everything around me while other times I'm so exhausted trying to process all the information I've taken in that even the most obvious of signals don't register. As you can imagine, this can greatly impair someone's ability to take in and respond to fresh information or environmental change. Though a person is attempting to assess a threat in order to prevent it by consuming too much information and over-processing it they may actually be preventing themselves from doing just that.</div>
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So to recap what do we know about the real, physical effects of abuse on brain development, physical health and memory retention?</div>
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<li>Brain volume in memory retention areas are physically decreased, subsequently increasing likelihood for abuse and substance abuse relapse</li>
<li>Victims of childhood abuse and violence typically age faster on a cellular level making them more likely to experience health issues and premature death</li>
<li>Experiencing chronic duress early on alters fundamental cognitive and physical development to the point the physical brain can actually grow to be small or abnormal</li>
<li>Chronic duress can lead to atrophy in the body and brain that persists long after childhood</li>
<li>Victims of abuse and anxiety can interact with people and their environments by being constantly on guard for threats to the point that they can exhaust their ability to interact with the world in "real time" and the hormones are physically altered</li>
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So, we get it. There are some dire physical effects that are sustained by chronic stress and the impact of severe abuse in the developmental stages of a human life. However, that is not my only point. Imagine if you can, a life wherein you have maintained survival by being vigilant and alert in order to respond to physical and mental trauma that is almost constant. In the later years of your life this stage of development, that significantly constructed the entire first two decades, becomes something that is not easily approachable, significant or relative to others. Instead of being able to reminisce about the mostly happy early stages of your life with your peers you feel the need instead to redirect conversations like these or remove yourself from them entirely. Imagine trying to soften or entirely black out memories from the first two decades of your life in order to avoid a cognitive response that will inflict anxiety in an instant. Deadening your capacity to remember painful events becomes a necessary method in which to adjust and function. The repercussions of this can be fruitful but they can also be devastating.</div>
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To give you some back history if you don't already have it I was the victim of child abuse for fifteen years and, as I said, was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder at the age of sixteen. I was hospitalized in the ER twice during High School because my anxiety was so severe that it had caused gastrointestinal problems that resulted in my stomach being coated and treated with medication the first visit. The second time was so severe I required an IV for a couple of hours and was given medication intravenously as well as more than one prescription for nausea and acid reflux. </div>
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Most recently, in the past year I was diagnosed again with an anxiety disorder after suffering a major depressive episode and put on anxiety medication I have to take twice daily. I will be seeing an endocrinologist in January for continual hormonal issues that I am currently on a prescription for after several blood tests and examinations. I have had a plant-based diet for many years in order to counter the gastrointestinal issues I experienced early on. I was originally told I would be on stomach medication for the remainder of my life and may even have to have my stomach removed if the problems persisted. To summarize I have battled with the physical and mental effects of chronic mental, physical and sexual abuse for my entire life.</div>
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When there is an affliction to our cognitive abilities it's easy to write this kind of pestilence off as abstract and hypothetical in nature. When someone loses an appendage it's easy for us to see, become horrified and empathize with that physical loss. When someone suffers mentally those wounds and ailments are much more difficult to not only relate to but acknowledge as real. With the exponential advancement of not only technology but science we are beginning to understand that our emotions and mental states have far reaching effects on our physical well-being that go beyond elusive, silly metaphysical connotations. </div>
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Likewise, as a survivor of trauma and abuse I have never been comfortable being looked at as someone with a mental illness or disability of any kind. Not only does such a moniker come with public criticism but an internal evaluation of self as well. Society as a whole seems readily willing to gloss over or overlook completely those that aren't easily defined by their mental impediments but still struggle to live with them. There are the sane and not sane. We see a man on the corner talking to himself collecting garbage and we're quick to write them off as an insane lost cause. Is there no modicum of sanity or anything else in between on some sliding scale of sorts? If not how can we vary level of treatments? How can we learn to treat ourselves?</div>
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The good news is not only can we seek help but we can make efforts to treat ourselves. In almost every study I've referenced here the thought was that the effects of abuse (with great effort) were reversible. Just as the brain can acclimate to or learn to anticipate stress it can un-adapt. It is very easy to feel at war with external factors that trigger a neurological response. It's easy to tell ourselves that the response is not chemical or physical but that we inherently lack some kind of emotional component all together that would allow us to improve. I argue that with great, great effort and long-term consistency we can improve and change. Part of that process is acknowledging the physical augmentation that must be undone. The ether of anxiety, doubt and pain can be parted when a structure of solid physical habits is built from within. The pain I find myself cycling through is symptomatic of behaviors ingrained so deeply that they have actually become physical in nature. I have developed differently and instead of pretending I haven't I am going to have to work with this fact. I can not ignore a dimension of myself and simultaneously improve upon it.</div>
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<b>It's a very sobering moment to realize that your own mind may be working against you and enabling your abusers to harm you</b>. If you have been designed since childhood to endure pain instead of fly because there was a time you could not fly or fight the door has been left open for pain to be inflicted to a degree that should never be permitted. The association with love and pain becomes intermingled in a way that is unhealthy. When you are able to soften the blows of your abusers you unconsciously begin doing half their work for them. You enable the cycle unwittingly and conclusions or solutions that may be obvious to others come very slowly if they ever come at all. Once someone inclined to abuse finds someone physically inclined to being abused the effects can be cyclic and tumultuous. It's easier for abuse victims with these physical cognitive impairments to quite literally forget, excuse or dull the memories of being harmed in order to proliferate and nurture the good times even if they are far more infrequent or even just as frequent as the abusive episodes. Things that a developmentally healthy person might have a hard time ever forgetting are <i>easy </i>for a person with a history of abuse to romanticize, excuse away or validate.</div>
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By revising history, and being in a constant state in which you are struggling to survive you can miss brightly colored red flags all together. There is quite a lot of danger in subjecting yourself to a new trauma when you haven't even healed from old wounds. The effects can be devastating even deadly on a truly depressed person who is so lost by their own mind literally urging them to react. So desperate to do something a depressed person's reactions can be viciously harmful to others and even themselves.</div>
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After almost twenty nine years of struggling with these issues it is apparent to me that earnest, physical action is needed in order to combat depression, anxiety and the long-term damage that chronic abuse, anxiety and depression can cause. I thought because I was able to work a full-time office job despite my constantly pounding heart that I had overcome my past. My past and the abuse that riddled the majority of it "was old news" that I didn't want to burden anyone else with. Yet, I keep making mistakes, each one leaving me more battered than the last despite my struggles to do exactly the opposite! Why? The conclusion that I've come to is that I am physically hardwired to suffer. This has been my existence for almost three decades now and I've become so accustom to it that I literally can not tell when I should fight or fly. I literally can not tell what pain is necessary, what is avoidable, and what is absolutely unacceptable. In truth, it's hard for me to tell at all until I am literally so incapacitated that I at times can not function or when I can move it is only to reach out to self-medicate and self-harm. <i><b> </b>I shouldn't need trauma to alert me to run, <b>that defeats the purpose of having fight or flight to avoid the trauma entirely.</b></i></div>
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So what can I or anyone like me do? Here is my opinion and my conclusion.</div>
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There are always going to be external factors that may endanger us or compromise our emotional and mental stability to varying degrees. The only control we have over these factors is how well we avoid them or how well we adapt to them when they can not be avoided. That means the work begins on an internal level. We have to rewire our minds instead of rewriting history into a version that's more easily able to handle. We have to face the ugly crevices of reality no matter how big or small and truly adapt to them instead of creating an adaptation of what's real and a false sense of security.</div>
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I have begun to realize that my fight is not with the people that harmed me, not with life's injustice or impermanence but with my control over myself. I have to learn what should have been instinctual and reaffirmed within the first minutes of my life. I have to learn <i style="font-weight: bold;">that it's okay to look out for myself and not suffer.</i> There are many ways to begin rewiring myself on a physical level.</div>
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<li>Exercise</li>
<li>Meditation</li>
<li>Compassionate affirmation</li>
<li>Regular sleep</li>
<li>Avoiding substances that aggravate depression and anxiety like caffeine or alcohol</li>
<li>Socializing with friends and loved ones in a safe neutral environment</li>
<li>Using grounding techniques to rewire the brain from racing thoughts to the present</li>
<li>Medication and treatment from a doctor as necessary</li>
<li>Being conscious of red flags and willing to acknowledge them</li>
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These aren't assumptions these are methods that are grounded in medical science.</div>
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Living with the effects of chronic abuse and anxiety can be excruciating. I have days that I literally would rather be unconscious than feel my heart thudding uncontrollably and my mind racing to the point I am panicking and don't know how to stop it. I get angry at myself for making cyclic mistakes and I get beyond frustrated that I was not able to see those mistakes coming. There are days I tear myself apart or cry on the bathroom floor and feel isolated from everything around me. There are days I'm terrified that the wounds are too deep, that the abuse went on too long and I am doomed to a life of anxiety and loneliness. There are days I feel hatred must be my footholds and others I'm exhausted by own frustration. There are days I feel isolated because my physical appearance does not match the mutilated self-image that I have internally. There have been many days like that in part because I was unaware the self-proliferating cycle was consuming my energy in order to spin on like a water wheel.</div>
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It is my feeling and opinion that by becoming aware of the physical causation of anxiety, depression and cyclic abuse that we can take responsibility for and then break the patterns causing us pain. We can rewire our minds so that each day is not an internal battle for happiness. Those battles should be the exception, not the rule. I believe that we can achieve tranquility through active acknowledgement of the mental and emotional wounds and then through treatment of them. I truly believe that I can overcome the habitual pain by devoting to the idea of recovery and by treating my mental wounds with the same care and understanding I would approach anything physical.</div>
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I am no stranger to revised history. When I was extracted from my home with deep-tissue wounds at the age of fifteen my mother tried to tell people they were self-inflicted. Years later she has apologized profusely at times and pretended utterly as though nothing occurred at all even though she has since divorced my step-father after the abuse climaxed and I was removed. The ironic thing is it isn't what happened that keeps us apart now it's her inability to completely accept what happened. It has made it so that a relationship between mother and daughter is untenable perhaps forever. Even now, you would think a person like myself would be so wary to life's snares and cruelty but at times I find myself forgiving all to easily the pain inflicted upon me to the point I let myself be very deeply wounded by the people I let close. I don't pretend I have all of the answers but I do hope that on my seemingly constant quest for recovery, truth and real happiness that I can share my findings and help someone other than myself.</div>
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There is a saying that, "History is written by the victors." This quote is attributed to great politicians like Winston Churchill, Napoleon Bonaparte and Niccolò Machiavelli. I implore you to not the let the victor continue to be the trauma. I implore you to not rewrite your history however ugly you may find it but to face it with bravery, compassion and ownership. The future is yours to compose. You can not feel loved truly or avoid the feeling of isolation if you do not embrace the truth and allow others to embrace your truth scars and all whether they be self-inflicted or brutally received. We must refuse to settle or turn a blind eye to the pain inside of us because in allowing ourselves to hurt when we interact we share that hurt. When we allow ourselves to keep hurting we proliferate and spin the wheel. Instead, with work, we can bring to the table a desire to heal, receive love and ultimately experience internal happiness. This isn't just my wish and the unrelenting goal I have for myself it's my desire for anyone struggling with this. It's even my desire for the people that have hurt me, some of whom I still love. No one will ever be able to rebuild you if you are not willing to renovate yourself instead of living in a dilapidated shell, condemned and falling apart.</div>
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I leave you with this final thought.</div>
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"There is no single, eternal and immutable "truth" about past events and their meaning. The unending quest of historians for understanding the past - that is revisionism - that is what makes history vital and meaningful."<br />
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-Historian James McPhereson, Pulitzer Prize Winner</blockquote>
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Revising history is considered part of the scholarly process. History is often times revised not to corrupt the truth but to tell it. With research stereotypes are undone. With the work of scientists and historians the lies of politicians are unearthed and a more apt perspective is restored. That's right, considering our past can not only be cathartic but we can learn about truth instead of letting outside sources foster misinformation. The effects of physical abuse, depression and anxiety are real but with effort and a thirst for knowledge and truth we can revise who we are. We can become more genuine, more healthy and maybe even make history instead of being ruled by it.</div>
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Copyright 2014, Ginger Rogers</div>
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References:</div>
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Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2009, "<a href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/issue_briefs/brain_development/effects.cfm#effects">Understanding the Effects of Maltreatment on Brain Development</a>," <i>Series, Issue Briefs</i></div>
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Bill Hathaway, June 2014, "<a href="http://news.yale.edu/2014/06/11/brain-retains-signs-childhood-trauma-and-warning-substance-abusers">Brain Retains Signs of Childhood Trauma - and a Warning for Substance Abusers</a>," <i>Yale News</i></div>
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Alice Park, April 2012, "<a href="http://healthland.time.com/2012/04/24/how-bullying-and-abuse-may-age-children-prematurely/">How Bullying and Abuse May Age Children Prematurely</a>," <i>Time Magazine</i></div>
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Stephanie Pappas, April 2012, "<a href="http://www.livescience.com/19858-bullying-child-abuse-aging.html">Bullying, Child Abuse Hastens Aging in Kids</a>," <i>Live Science</i></div>
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Dr. Sean Richardson, November 2011, "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCPgvTRftZg&feature=share">Mental Toughness: Think Differently About Your World</a>," <i>TedX Talks Victoria</i></div>
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Julia Layton, September 2005, "<a href="http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/fear2.htm">How Fear Works</a>," <i>How Stuff Works, Life Science</i><br />
<i><br /></i><a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Art/comments/2p8326/anxiety_attack_ink_in_moleskine_85x11/">Anxiety Attack Artwork</a></div>
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Additional Reading Material:</div>
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<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_revisionism">Historical Revisionism on Wikipedia</a></div>
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<a href="http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-small-steps-you-can-take-today-to-improve-anxiety-symptoms/00016637">15 Small Steps You Can Take to Reduce Your Anxiety, Psych Central</a></div>
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Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-85181411685208663802016-03-21T22:01:00.001-07:002016-03-21T22:01:46.284-07:00Super Easy Vegan Chicken and WafflesMaking this video I have spelled waffle - WAGGLES countless times. Waggles should be a thing.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDBpq-wV-06BXmUjGfqFgegWECmgVL8H2-A3HOf4OKj03KmnCO7hJpkS0ZhUgS7WQ5D_3Fw6d6M5tSaIHt8MYEwgCIMubn45U1gOTMry99gFvi8wBG4iqiX0zFNB3jPLtwjfyRc5Fy5yJC/s1600/Chicken+Waffles+Thumb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDBpq-wV-06BXmUjGfqFgegWECmgVL8H2-A3HOf4OKj03KmnCO7hJpkS0ZhUgS7WQ5D_3Fw6d6M5tSaIHt8MYEwgCIMubn45U1gOTMry99gFvi8wBG4iqiX0zFNB3jPLtwjfyRc5Fy5yJC/s320/Chicken+Waffles+Thumb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Check it out! No real recipe required. The video is super quick and easy. A fun way to add some variety to your vegan spread!<br />
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<br />Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-36908051784568069792016-03-18T15:20:00.001-07:002016-03-18T15:43:33.887-07:00My Trip to Minneapolis - Vegan Donuts, Pizza and a Butcher Shop!<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS7RYI-utz3w83js7UqS5fT4-OidyeDwssKjdOgITBYwo4-DjoIU_Eo-I8o2S6RwCpOXq7mlTZJcStWQ7S-jKyOXRECegbca_uZcahSxH7qlM24wkpqw-6dddc2KcS3M-JH2ZytiUDVQBs/s1600/HB+Meat+Haul+Pin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS7RYI-utz3w83js7UqS5fT4-OidyeDwssKjdOgITBYwo4-DjoIU_Eo-I8o2S6RwCpOXq7mlTZJcStWQ7S-jKyOXRECegbca_uZcahSxH7qlM24wkpqw-6dddc2KcS3M-JH2ZytiUDVQBs/s400/HB+Meat+Haul+Pin.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So I had an amazing weekend last weekend hitting the Twin Cities. I was most excited to stop by one of the first Vegan Butcher Shops in the U.S. I purchased a few of their items to sample and I must tell you there were incredible! I maybe relocating to the Cities sometime in the future but until then I will be pining for the amazing products found at the Herbivorous Butcher.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I did a video of my trip and a small review on my haul. If you'd like to try these amazing products they also recently just started shipping a vegan starter pack which (is a little pricey) but full of their amazing vegan "meat" items. You have to check it out! I believe they'll be expanding shipping items more in the future.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Needless to say, this is a wonderful step for the vegan community. It makes finding fresh, tasty meat substitutes while supporting a local (or at least domestic) small business super easy! They're products are to die for but - best part - no one had to die! I highly encourage you to check out their shop at:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.theherbivorousbutcher.com/">http://www.theherbivorousbutcher.com/</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you're not opposed to vlogs and you'd like a more irreverent peek into my weekend in the Cities (featuring some delectable vegan donuts that I purchased at Glam Doll Donuts) check out my vlog of the weekend below.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thanks so much for reading and watching. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Please like share and subscribe to keep up with all of my vegan and travel vlogs!</span></div>
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Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-71589248321069952082016-03-17T09:22:00.001-07:002016-03-17T09:31:28.693-07:00Las Vegas Travel Tips to Save You Money<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixSvu-6oI8G5DoDHFk4TkTd4CC0CX_-QU3DTrn1W8HQxx29_raRXDxEJyU7whZVxXN15UtLasy6eEVTfe3OcK7K6ZrVgSXNms2r7bXRfaFWQ2hx7pYmfYvrt5ebF7Q5E4QY-UpWyTpUATM/s1600/LV+Travel+Thumb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixSvu-6oI8G5DoDHFk4TkTd4CC0CX_-QU3DTrn1W8HQxx29_raRXDxEJyU7whZVxXN15UtLasy6eEVTfe3OcK7K6ZrVgSXNms2r7bXRfaFWQ2hx7pYmfYvrt5ebF7Q5E4QY-UpWyTpUATM/s400/LV+Travel+Thumb.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So a little about my background! I go to Las Vegas usually once a year these days for business purposes. My first visit to Las Vegas was alone, the week of Christmas to escape the Midwest chill and I had a blast! Now that I've gone a few times (for different reasons) this video is a list of things I've compiled that I believe will actually save you time and money on your trip.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have to say I'm pretty proud of this one because I tried to give actually, practical tips that I doubt are obvious to new comers of the city. Check it out and let me know what you think. Don't forget to like, share and subscribe!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Love, Rue</span></div>
Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-60442291869817318692016-02-28T20:54:00.001-08:002016-02-28T20:54:40.478-08:00Vegan Boxed Mac and Cheese<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkOn9KSXHJnpstmUR1lW4N1eY_Yz3dVcIzv_76eaLneEo1MhII2IBqFt1fvG9j2ACIf1pG7LKYnYxCWfW34V3Rr5kWNN_bmsgM1Ddg7SRoALVXSdeu0FdIL1kSUGnSlkgeHp2sDKbRxuLb/s1600/Vegan+Mac+and+Cheese+Thumb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkOn9KSXHJnpstmUR1lW4N1eY_Yz3dVcIzv_76eaLneEo1MhII2IBqFt1fvG9j2ACIf1pG7LKYnYxCWfW34V3Rr5kWNN_bmsgM1Ddg7SRoALVXSdeu0FdIL1kSUGnSlkgeHp2sDKbRxuLb/s320/Vegan+Mac+and+Cheese+Thumb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Hello, lovely people.</div>
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This past week I vlogged about Vegan boxed mac and cheese brands. That's right, I took one for the team and gained a pound or two stuffing my face with some of the most delicious mac and cheese brands on the market for Vegans! Huzzah!</div>
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Check out the video and let me know what you think in the comments below!</div>
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FYI - Boxed foods aren't the most healthy but if you're just transitioning to vegan and looking for those comfort food you know and love from your "former life" or if you're just lactose and tolerant looking for something delectable that are easy to make - here ya' go!</div>
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Spoiler alert: the Daiya Cheezy Mac was my favorite. My waste line is a little sad I know about it but the others were so good in their own way - check it out!</div>
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Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-16980959149372222672016-02-01T14:18:00.001-08:002016-02-01T14:20:32.499-08:00How to Humiliate Yourself at the Gym<br />
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Bada-da-da-dum!<br />
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That was intro music... kind of. So, I decided to a video about ways I have utterly embarrassed myself at the gym. I hope this encourages you to keep on, keepin' on out there ladies and gents. If it gets a giggle out of you at least that would be fantastic.<br />
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I am busier than ever than ever going to school full-time, working and traveling but producing content keeps a smile on my face (especially if I can put one on yours.) Happy Monday!<br />
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Love,<br />
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Rue<br />
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<br />Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-49496617598425198182016-01-24T19:36:00.002-08:002016-01-24T19:37:36.568-08:00Shaving My Head - Sex Appeal, Travel, Feminism, Regrets<br />
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Here's my YouTube video on my experience with shaving my head. I hope it's helpful to those of you considering going under the razor. Regardless of how long your hair is you're beautiful!</div>
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Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6121345090621469059.post-28592264190917762692016-01-24T16:03:00.000-08:002016-01-24T17:16:41.134-08:00The Effects of Meat Production on the Environment<div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As of December 2015 the next American election year is quickly approaching as some of the world's greatest leaders, most powerful corporations and noteworthy minds converge within Paris, France. The reason for this gathering is a summit meeting to discuss climate change which is currently one of the world’s most pressing issues. Through scientific research we are increasingly aware of the devastating effects this phenomenon is having on our planet and all of it’s inhabitants. The only thing more startling than the way climate change is ravaging the planet is the human species’ en masse capacity to not only do little to nothing to avert continued disaster but even more so its inability to agree on its existence despite scientific evidence. Much of how this damage is occurring can be traced back to how humans consume. Primarily, we can diagnose the causation of many of the Earth’s environmental ails (climate change and global warming being among them) by looking at the consequences of how we manufacture and purchase our food.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />The topic of global warming draws heated opinions from politicians, scientists and civilians alike though some are more educated on the subject than others. Regardless, of your stance it's easy to see that this is an issue of growing relevance and exposure. In a speech given at Georgetown University in 2013 current U.S. President Barack Obama implored political leaders to unite and address the topic of climate change in regards to the effect it was having on our environment. “In my State of the Union address, I urged Congress to come up with a bipartisan, market-based solution to climate change, like the one that Republican and Democratic senators worked on together a few years ago. And I still want to see that happen. I'm willing to work with anyone to make that happen.” He asked corporations and retailers great and small to take actions toward sustainable practices and to produce their goods and services by using cleaner energy. In 2013 when he gave this speech he unleashed an action plan that would hold companies to task for emitting carbon pollutants into the air. <br /><br />Attempts like these from our political leaders are a significant step towards progress but there is much more to be done. It’s easy to use imagery like the kind taken from the above referenced speech when conjuring images of air pollution. Tired smoke stacks bellowing black clouds of foul smelling waste into the sky is not hard to picture as though one were in some sort of dystopian nightmare. However, the thought of unwrapping a neatly packaged burger for an affordable price after rolling out of the drive-thru queue probably doesn’t elicit such heinous feelings as old buildings turned brown by their carbon secretions. And why should it? Billions of dollars are spent each year to market the consumption of fast food, steak, chicken and meat of all kinds as an affordable taste experience at fast food joints strategically placed on each block.<br /><br />Images of meat conjure ideas of appealing low cost meals as just mentioned but they can also summon ideals of swordfish steaks and filet mignon that could be the beginning of elegant nights away from home. Meat has been marketed as more than a food. We’ve begun to associate it with luxury, convenience and status. Purchasing or cooking someone a steak dinner or a boiled lobster is considered an upscale gift. We do not associate that smoke stack or a burning sensation in our lungs or desolate stretches of deserted land with the burger in our hands or the pork belly on the prongs of our forks. This is unfortunate because the reality of meat production and consumption, especially en masse, has effects that are quite dark, effects that many corporations are heavily invested in marginalizing or hiding altogether in order to keep profits climbing upward.<br /><br />According to a 2013 study published by the Yale Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity in 2012 the fast food industry spent over four and a half billion dollars to market their products. More specifically, the study found that marketing was targeted towards children, especially minority children, in order to make sales and instill what would hopefully be a brand loyalty that would be life long. One of the most obvious issues with this is that the corporations did this many times at the expense of the child and (as we will see) the environment. The top five fast food companies marketing in America were McDonald’s, Subway, Taco Bell, Wendy’s and KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken.) (Yale Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity) What do all of these fast food chains have in common? Other than being American household names the companies all offer a meat-centric menu made with low quality ingredients.<br /><br />As of 2012 Americans consumed 52.2 billion pounds of meat a year. This is five times the amount consumed only a little over one hundred years ago. The US formerly only consumed 9.8 billion pounds of meat in 1909. Despite the fact that the population only increased from around 90.5 million to 312.8 million the consumption of meat has increased exponentially rising with population growth and now surpassing it by over 1.5 percent in modern times. (Barclay) This is despite the fact that due to advances in agriculture there is growing accessibility to a great range of international produce at all seasons of the year that US denizens in 1909 could have only dreamt of. Initially, these numbers might seem promising in regards to the economy. More demand means more profit and production but what is the real cost of meat consumption? Human beings of all nationalities are paying dire consequences for what appear to be cheap meals.<br /><br />It’s easy to understand why that if we’ve grown up in a culture inundated with the advertisements of these fast food monoliths we no longer question their inherent existence, the quality of their goods, the effects of their production or what consuming them does to our bodies or our world. Yet, when we take a step back from all of that and look at what it takes in order to produce this much meat at such a small cost what we find doesn’t induce hopeful emotions. We aren’t filled with the nostalgia associated with prying open a tiny toy from it’s plastic wrapper, still slick with french fry grease, after fishing it from the crumpled paper bag of a Happy Meal. In 2008, The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) found that about 20 percent of the world’s grasslands and pastures had been degraded by the overgrazing of livestock. The waste produced be these animals caused an estimated half of the world’s soil erosion and sediment pollution as well as a third of the world’s water pollution. <br /><br />Livestock not only produces methane gas but it requires energy to keep these animals warm, fed and cared for before they can be slaughtered. This requires a lot of energy which is usually reliant on non-renewable resources like oil and natural gas. Because of this, the FAO estimates that livestock production also generates about twenty percent of the greenhouse gases humans create. This of course, is an enormous contributing factor to global warming and climate change. When looking at statistical evidence the results are quickly and astoundingly clear that our current meat production and consumption is incredibly detrimental to our planet and human beings across the globe. (Myers, Norman, and Spoolman)<br /><br />One begins to question the logic of taking perfectly good, carefully grown food resources and filtering them through other animals that are mass produced for the sheer purpose of ending up in a Wendy’s hamburger. Fields of soybeans and corn, for instance, food that could be used to treat world hunger and poverty are fed to cows that will ultimately be killed. In the process 37 percent of the world’s synthetic pesticides are used to treat the plants these animals consume. The runoff of these chemicals and the waste of the animals creates vast amounts of air and water pollution that is not easily undone. This in turn contributes to biodiversity loss as it kills off rodents and insects---like bees---that are crucial to pollination which of course is a needed natural service in order for plants to continue to reproduce. (Myers, Norman, and Spoolman)<br /><br />Livestock are also treated with antibiotics and hormones on a regular basis as a preventative measure and to make them grow unnaturally fast even if they are not sick. This means that when a human consumes the meat they are ingesting antibiotics that they don’t need in addition to consuming the flesh of creatures that were consistently exposed to chemical poisons. In regards to health issues this raises obvious concerns as doctors are becoming more aware that these actions are creating bacteria that’s begun to evolve into more resistant, deadly strains. What this means in regards to human health is that since humans are ingesting secondhand antibiotics regularly through meat and dairy when they don’t need them it will be harder to treat them if they ever contract a bacterial infection. From an environmental standpoint, however, this is concerning due to the energy, chemicals and additional resources it requires in order to produce these antibiotics. (Gallagher)<br /><br />Accessible, drinkable water is another resource in which the planet is currently in dire need of. With record droughts hitting the State of California in the US or the nation of Syria in West Asia and many people all over the world not having access to clean water it’s important to understand the concept of virtual water. Virtual water is hidden or indirect uses of water. It is a little more difficult to track virtual water because it is water that has often times been consumed (by livestock or humans) or used to produce a different resource like bread or plastics. The World Water Council tells us that nearly 38 percent of the world’s virtual water goes into producing meat while only about 8 percent goes into vegetable production. When you begin to consider that 783 million people in the world do not have access to drinkable water the idea of using this precious resource to sustain cattle and poultry that will ultimately be slaughtered begins to seem a bit backwards at best and despicable at worst. In fact, to produce only a quarter pound of hamburger meat it takes over 52 gallons of water, 6.7 pounds of feed and 74.5 square feet of land for grazing and growing the food needed to sustain the animals. (Barclay) Meanwhile, one in nine human beings on this planet do not have enough food to lead an active healthy lifestyle. This kind of unsustainable behavior results into consequences that far outlive the humans that we neglect. Due to excessive pumping of groundwater or diverting river sources to irrigate the crops needed to feed livestock and produce meat we will continue to deplete water. This will cause an eventual degradation and desertification of land until, not unlike oil, we will need to seek out the resources of other countries to sustain us more so than we already do. (Myers, Norman, and Spoolman)<br /><br />Acknowledging and addressing the issues of climate change and environmental destruction bear consequences far greater than saving a solitary tree or a handful of emaciated polar bears. The issue is also not as black and white as smoke rising into the sky, or illustrated green sludge dribbling into our rivers. The causation of climate change, global warming and pollution is far more subtle indeed. What’s worrisome is there are many corporations whose survival is tied to the production and selling of meat despite the global consequences. The solution doesn’t have to be as drastic as eliminating meat from our diets entirely but substantial changes to our consumption methods do need to be made.<br /><br />If meat were truly a luxury item instead of a perceived low-end luxury this would cut down on the production of meat greatly. However, in order for companies to make up for a much lower amount of meat being produced they would have to drastically raise the cost of their products. The fast food high-rollers like McDonald’s can be almost guaranteed to not do this because their entire business model is based around very affordable hamburgers purchased en masse. They, and the rest of the major fast food retailers, would have to entirely restructure their business models with no guarantee that the a public, who they have spent many years marketing too as fast and cheap, would continue to be interested in their product especially at a much higher cost to themselves.<br /><br />Effectually, the mass production of meat has created a very harmful cycle of damage that these companies hid from the public eye in order to continue to grow their profits. Ultimately, at the financial gains of these companies the health and environment of human beings across the world have suffered and will continue to suffer. Ultimately, sadly, we are exchanging short-term convenience for political power, access to food that is healthy and sustainable and better health conditions for ourselves, our children and our planet. Even without examining the ethical connotations or consequences of meat consumption we can still see that our habits are detrimental to our environment and sustainability as a species.<br /><br />By consuming from companies that mass produce meat we are contributing to climate change and global warming as well as the pollution, degradation and desertification of land that will hurt America’s ability to sustain itself for generations to come. In an article published by The Guardian, writer Adam Briggs comments thusly, “Ahead of the talks in Paris, both the US and the UK should be sending a strong signal to the rest of the world that diet has a major impact both on our health and on the future of our planet. The US has emphatically failed to embrace this opportunity and there is very little reason to be optimistic about the UK. This is a missed opportunity with implications far beyond politics and economics: the planet is at stake.”<br /><br />When the red tape strung by profiteers is snipped away the course of action we should be taking as a nation and a global society is clear. We should change our demand for meat products by limiting our meat intake and consuming products that are produced in a way that is not harmful to our environment. If we do not reject the habits of consumerism built around us by marketers and lobbyists with billions to spend and choose to purchase our food consciously and ethically large corporations will continue their habits until demand far outweighs supply. They will continue to destroy the environment with minimal repercussions in order to increase profit shares. Human beings reproduce at an exponential rate and we are destroying our land’s capacity to grow food of any kind largely in part due to the mass production of meat. It will only be when the demand of food far outweighs the supply of it that corporations will begin raising the cost. This has and will put the average consumer under duress.<br /><br />We can avert this scenario and begin reversing the effects of climate change by changing the demand of products. If we as a society begin to emphasize our interests on meal options that reduce, omit or include only responsibly produced meat items we can alter demand and thusly the need for meat production. When one refuses to consume meat on a regular basis or purchase items that were created and mass-produced at the expense of the environment you are turning the tides. If we expect companies to place importance on the environment then we must first choose ethical consumerism over the convenience of mass meat manufactured en masse.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Berners-Lee, Mike. "Would Eating Less Meat Really Reduce Climate Change?" The Independent. Independent Digital News and Media, 29 Nov. 2015. Web. 29 Nov. 2015.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Obama, Barack. "Remarks by the President on Climate Change." Remarks by the President on Climate Change. Georgetown University, Washington, D.C. 25 June 2013. Speech.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Walsh, Bryan. "The Triple Whopper Environmental Impact of Global Meat Production | TIME.com." Science Space The Triple Whopper Environmental Impact of Global Meat Production Comments. Time Magazine, 16 Dec. 2013. Web. 1 Dec. 2015.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Briggs, Adam. "Eating Less Meat Isn't Just Good for You, It Could save the Planet." The Guardian. The Guardian, 28 Nov. 2015. Web. 1 Dec. 2015.</span></i></div>
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Runic Rigelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14597481380926698523noreply@blogger.com0